‘9-1-1: Lone Star’: Brian Michael Smith on Paul’s ‘Living Nightmare’ After His Medical Emergency

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[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for 9-1-1: Lone Star Season 3, Episode 9 “The Bird.”]

Firefighter down!

Life is going to be different for a member of the 126 on 9-1-1: Lone Star, as Marjan Marwani (Natacha Karam) convinces Paul Strickland (Brian Michael Smith) to see a doctor when she finds his heart racing after a nightmare. The doctor diagnoses him with a rare heart condition, Brugada syndrome, but Paul refuses to get the internal defibrillator he needs because it would mean a major change at work. When he has a heart attack, however, Marjan finds him and doesn’t stop the procedure, putting the two friends at odds.

“You get to see all the different emotional stages that he goes through with this news,” from denial to bargaining to “acceptance in the hospital, that his heart isn’t strong enough without assistance, and he is going to have to navigate a huge setback,” Smith tells TV Insider. “This is his life now.”

The star teases what’s ahead for Paul as he recovers, for his relationship with Marjan, and more.

How is Paul doing health-wise? Will the internal defibrillator do its job?

Brian Michael Smith: Even though he didn’t want it, it is going to help him with that arrhythmia problem that he has. It’s going to take a little adjuster period, but he’s not in as much risk of dying from a sudden heart attack again as he was before he got put in. He has to wrap his mind around it, but he’s better with it than without, for sure.

Jack Zeman/FOX

Talk about his decision not to get it. Was it only because of what it meant for him on the job and what being a firefighter means to him?

We all sort of react the same way when we feel like a part of our identity is under threat or going to be taken away from us. So when he first heard that he would have to get an internal defibrillator, he felt like that meant that he’s not going to be able to do what makes him who he is. He’s really strongly identified with his job as a firefighter. It’s his vocation, it’s his calling. Helping people and saving people is a huge part of his identity, which I thought was interesting for the writers to do because we’ve explored other parts of Paul’s identity, him as a trans man, but a lot of people I think can relate to when you find your thing, what makes you tick and gets you up in the morning, how devastating it’ll be when it feels like that’s under threat of being taken away. That’s where he’s at.

I feel like he really meant it when he said, “I would rather die as a firefighter than live doing anything else, live any other way.” I think he made his peace with the possibility of losing his life in the line of duty. Whether that’s due to fire, collapse or his body giving out, he’s willing to give his life in service of others, which is a huge statement, but he’s really facing that consequence in a way that he hasn’t before.

And the 126 is his family. If something takes him away from that…

Exactly. For the first time I feel like in his life he really feels connected and part of an entire family that accepts him for exactly who he is. He didn’t have to fight for anything. Even in his own like biological family, his mom and he have built a better relationship, but there’s struggles in that. And so for the first time he’s really living truly and fully accepted by people, and they respect him completely, and to have that threatened as well was a lot for him to try to take in.

Jordin Althaus/FOX

This episode was all ups and downs for Paul and Marjan’s relationship. He did say “thank you” to her in the hospital there when he kicked her out. How’s he feeling about her at the end of the episode?

I think it’s a mix. He’s really conflicted. He’s really hurt. Because in his mind at that time, he feels like as my best friend, as my ride or die, you would have my back, and even though we know that she did have his back and that what she was doing is out of her care for him, it’s something that he doesn’t want. He’s mad about the situation and he’s taking it out on her because she’s there. He is grateful that she did save his life. He’s aware of that, logically, but emotionally he’s still having his emotional reaction to losing what he feels like he’s losing. He lost a part of his identity and would want his best friend to protect that for him when he couldn’t do it. He’s not really seeing the bigger picture at that moment.

What will we see from them in the next episode? Are things really tense?

Yeah. It’s a hard thing to bounce back from, from both of their accounts. It really shakes their relationship, for sure, and it’s something to build back from.

We didn’t see the rest of the firehouse find out. What’s coming up?

Just their reactions. Everybody views him as very strong and very capable and knows how close to death he was. We saw a little bit of that in how strong their brotherhood was when Paul was trapped in the building collapse and they really expressed, as clearly as ever, how much they love each other. And so we’re going to see in the following episode what Paul being out feels like for them, what they miss about him and how they show up for him, when they can, which is beautiful.

Jack Zeman/FOX

With Paul and Marjan’s relationship shaky, who’s he leaning on? Who’s caught in the middle of those two?

The house is a smart house and everybody recognizes the family dynamics. I think Paul is going to do what people kind of do when they’re trying to deal with something and put on a brave face, not really connect with anyone. Everyone’s trying to step up in some way to be supportive of him. You feel the absence for both [Paul and Marjan]. And everybody in the house can feel that and they want things back to normal. So you’re going to see efforts from everyone within the house to sort of help put the family back together and help patch this up somehow, no matter what Paul and Marjan are holding onto individually.

While with the doctor, Paul had said he’d be put on limited duty or forced into early retirement. What’s next for him career-wise?

He’s trying to navigate what this new chapter in his life is going to look like now that he’s on the mend.  What’s interesting to play is facing your own mortality or facing your own limitations as an actor and then to kind of live that out through Paul. I feel like we all go through this at some point in our life, this sort of sense of body betrayal for whatever reason, whether it’s aging or health issues or what. We all face down our physical limitations. We get a chance to see how Paul faces this at this chapter in his life.

Episode 10 is definitely him trying to navigate what he’s capable of and who he can be on the job now that his body’s in a different condition and what is it going to take for him to get in the condition that he wants to be in order to show up on the job in the way that he wants to, but it’s difficult for him. This is one of the most challenging, biggest trials in his life.

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It seems like he can be fine on the job one day, then the next, not be able to work, right?

Right. That’s why, whether he wanted to agree with it or not, it was important for him to get that defibrillator so that if his heart does something irregular again, he’s not going to just go into cardiac arrest. This defibrillator will help put his heart back in a regular rhythm. That being said, he did have a surgery and the fear that comes with facing your death in such a way, I think anytime anybody has a near-death experience, it changes the way that they relate to the world and especially when you have a physically taxing job, it changes the way you believe in yourself and what you’re capable of, and that’s something that you have to build back. So, even if physically, he might be able to get his body into a certain condition, what is it going to take for him to get himself emotionally and mentally back into a condition to do his job?

How about his nightmares? Will we continue to see those?

I’m not sure. I feel like we’re going to spend more time with the sort of living nightmare as he’s trying to navigate this new version of life and him trying to accept this new reality with his identity being so challenged and the toll that that takes on him.

9-1-1: Lone Star, Mondays, 8/7c, Fox