Roush Review: Board Syfy’s ‘Ark’ at Your Own Risk

Matt Roush February 1, 2023, 9:00 am

The Ark

Matt's Rating:

Not since the SS Minnow of Gilligan’s Island has there been a more ill-fated vessel than the hapless title spacecraft of The Ark, a proudly cheesy sci-fi potboiler from Independence Day’s Dean Devlin. If it were a B movie (which would be a step up), I’d expect to see this Poseidon Adventure in orbit cheerfully mocked on Mystery Science Theater 3000. At the very least, it gives NBC‘s La Brea a run for its money as the most stupefying and imbecilic sci-fi show on TV.

(Credit: Syfy)

Those with a hearty appetite for crisis-of-the-week storytelling will most enjoy this overheated yarn. Set a century in the future, the show opens with the exploratory Ark One interrupted mid-flight by a catastrophe that wipes out the part of the ship carrying all of the elite command. The overwhelmed Gilligans left behind, jolted awake from cryogenic sleep a year early, are a motley bunch of cardboard characters, forced to rise to the occasion upon acknowledging, “Everyone who was qualified is dead.”

It’s one calamity after another: limited food and water, oxygen depletion, hallucinations, a collision course with an asteroid, a murder mystery, inane dialogue (“I won’t lie to you: We’re in a tight spot”). By the fourth (felt like 40th) episode, I couldn’t help think that the officers who never woke up were the lucky ones.

Crew Must Rely on Each Other to Survive in 'The Ark Trailer'

While the few ranking lieutenants squabble over leadership — only Richard Fleeshman (The Sandman) as cocky navigator James Brice shows star potential — it’s up to the ship’s nerdy youngsters, including breathless chatterbox Alicia (Stacey Read) and gung-ho horticulturist Angus (Ryan Adams), to save the day.

What they all could use is a good Noah.

The Ark, Series Premiere, Wednesday, February 1, 10/9c, Syfy