Late-Night Hosts React to Trump Indictment: ‘I Didn’t Know It Would Feel This Good’

Martin Holmes March 31, 2023, 9:18 am

Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, and Jimmy Fallon on late night shows — ABC/CBS/NBC

The hosts of late-night were celebrating on Thursday (March 30) night after the news broke that a New York jury had voted to indict former president Donald Trump over alleged hush money payments made to adult film star Stormy Daniels.

Stephen Colbert told The Late Show audience that he heard the news “literally three minutes” before he walked out on stage. He then marked the occasion by eating a heap of ice cream and squirting whipped cream into his mouth while the live audience cheered.

“[Trump] was right; we’re finally saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again,” he joked. “I used to think maybe it’ll never come, [that] it didn’t matter if it came. I didn’t know it would feel this good.”

Get out the ice cream and baseball helmets, we’re feeling a little extra American today! #Colbert pic.twitter.com/aGkt9CpnRv

— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) March 31, 2023

Colbert also shared a tip for the Manhattan District Attorney leading the charges against Trump. “Alvin Bragg better have some tiny handcuffs,” he tweeted, referencing the running gag of Trump’s small hands.

Alvin Bragg better have some tiny handcuffs.

— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) March 31, 2023

Meanwhile, there was also a festive atmosphere over on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where the host also learned of the news less than two hours before coming out on stage.

“The ‘J’ in ‘Donald J. Trump’ now stands for ‘Jail,’” Kimmel quipped in his opening monologue before adding, “He’s going to be read his Miranda Rights. Wait until he finds out that all this time he had the right to be silent.”

Kimmel then shared some ideas for potential new Trump reality series, including The Celebrity Apprehentice, Arrested Developer, and the simple but effective, Biggest Loser.

On NBC, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon let Trump speak for himself, with a mash-up of the former Apprentice host singing a remixed version of the Pointer Sisters’ hit “I’m So Excited,” appropriately turned into “I’m So Indicted.”

Donald Trump: I’m So Indicted #FallonTonight pic.twitter.com/UJu9vTmfB3

— The Tonight Show (@FallonTonight) March 30, 2023

Fallon also touched on the subject in his opening monologue, joking that when Daniels heard the news, she said, “Oh, so this is what it feels like to be satisfied.”

Jimmy addresses Donald Trump’s indictment. #FallonTonight pic.twitter.com/oclVUKnTGZ

— The Tonight Show (@FallonTonight) March 31, 2023

Over on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, guest host John Leguizamo also reveled in the news, stating, “That’s right… Lady Justice grabbed Trump by the p***y. And you know I take a stance against mass incarceration, but for this, I’m willing to make an exception. I just hope they take it easy on him and put him in a cell with his lawyer.”

The Daily Show Twitter also shared a funny clip showing what happens the staff learns of Trump’s indictment ten minutes before the taping.

Daily Show staff when Trump gets indicted 10 minutes before taping pic.twitter.com/CW41qP166l

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) March 30, 2023

Sadly, one late-night show was left out of the celebrations. NBC’s Late Night with Seth Meyers had already filmed its Thursday show before the news broke. Still, the show’s official Twitter account poked fun at itself.