Caressa Cameron Jackson on How ‘Secrets of Miss America’ Shows Ugly Side of Beauty Pageant

Secrets of Miss America goes beyond the glitz and glamour of the iconic beauty pageant to reveal some ugly truths. The four-part A&E docuseries has provided a platform for more than 20 former Miss Americas to voice their respective experiences wearing a crown with more than 100 years of history behind it.

They open up about the challenges faced within the organization amid claims of racism, bullying, and body shaming that tarnished the image of the brand. Hot-button topics include the banning of the swimsuit competition and the pressures that comes with a year-long reign.

Among those featured is Caressa Cameron Jackson, the first black Miss Virginia to win Miss America in 2010. The title brought with it a racial undercurrent felt perpetuated by top decision-makers that oftentimes took her down a dark path. Here the 35-year-old talks about the revelations of Secrets of Miss America, as well as the impact she hopes it has within the pageant world.

This docuseries has already created a lot of dialogue. What kind of feedback have you gotten?

Caressa Cameron Jackson: The reaction I’m getting is people literally had no idea. They think you win and maybe nothing happens behind the curtain with everything being sunshine and rainbows. That could not be further from what it is. Then there are the ones who are pageant critics and are like, “Well, didn’t you sign up for this? “  think the answer is both yes and no. You sign up knowing we are going into an experience that is work. Nobody expects for it not to be work. I think what we were most surprised by in some of the ways was how we were treated. We wouldn’t expect that from what is historically a women’s empowerment organization. To have some leadership who were not upholding those kinds of standards and values is a bit shocking. It was shocking for us to have gone through it. Now it’s shocking for the American public to see.

The feeling I gathered from watching so far has been to be careful what you wish for because you might just get it.

A hundred percent. I think that it’s all partially why a lot of us weren’t as vocal during the time when we were experiencing these things because it was like heavy is the head that wheres the crown a little bit. How do you call home and tell them it wasn’t everything you hoped and dreamed it would be? You just eat it kind of because of what you said.

A&E

In the upcoming third episode, you’re featured as the documentary turns its attention to racism and lack of diversity within the organization. Was it hard to relive some of your past moments from your time as Miss America?

It was tough. I found myself at times holding back tears. At the end of the day, and I say this on there, that there was a point that year in my life that I never felt uglier. To know that’s the year of my life and the pictures that will live on to infinity. I wasn’t given the ability to present my best self that year. It sucks. There is no better way to put it. To have to relive that experience and even the disappointment you will hear me talk about when I was competing, Knowing and feeling I was working just as hard, if not harder, to get even half of what my white counterparts were getting.

It was tough to revisit but necessary because when you think about pageantry and the beauty industry in general, it has not historically been designed for women of color. Even as far as we have come not only in the Miss America organization but beauty in general, there are still remnants of that systemically throughout the beauty industry. I have friends who are actresses and actors in LA. They tell me all the time how they will show up on set where the person doing the makeup or hair doesn’t have the foundation in their color. The default is whiteness for a lot of this industry. Having to relive that is tough but a necessary conversation to have.

Your mom also lends her perspective.

Now that I have kids I have a much deeper appreciation for the hurt she carried for me. I think about the disappointment I have when my son loses a soccer game. I can only imagine what it feels like for a mom to have to walk their daughter through trying to achieve her dreams and goals but feeling there is this an obstacle there with nothing she can do about it. I feel for what she was going through at the time and watching my heart be broken repeatedly. I’m glad she is able to be a voice for mamas and mamas like her and able to cathartically talk through her own issues.

Is there a group text or support group within former Miss Americas as the show airs?

We do have a group chat via text message where we are chatting and talking to one another. Like with all things, there is an overwhelming amount of support for those who are brave enough to share their stories. Then of course there are some people who feel we should have kept our business our business. It’s with any family. There are those who go ahead and move forward and put things on the table and other people who just eat their pride. We are very supportive of each other. There is no infighting. It has been great to open up those conversations.

There are even those of the formers who are a little more seasoned as I like to say who experienced the competition in their glory. I’m talking about you getting a Corvette when you won. They had no idea things had diminished the way they did. They were pretty heartbroken to see and hear those stories because that’s not the Miss America organization they experienced. It also made them more energized to get it back to what it was so the girls can have the experience they did.

Related

See Kim Kardashian in 'American Horror Story: Delicate' Teaser

Was there anything particularly shocking for you watching this show?

I actually did not know about Mallorie [Hagen’s] struggles with mental health as a result of Miss America. Part of my not knowing is it wasn’t something she shared publicly but mainly because Malorie is such a force with personality and strength. That’s not what I would have expected, for her to struggle the way she did. I’m not surprised because I have felt the mental toll and weight this can have on someone. It might have been my naivety to think the strongest among us might have not succumbed to the same dangerous thoughts. It’s one of the most surprising things people will see…People are surprised to know Miss America is with thousands of people every day. But it still feels like the most lonely year of your life

Has social media made the pageant world even more challenging for contestants and hopefuls?

Yes and no. When I was coming up there these ugly things called the message boards. People could talk about certain subjects, amplified.  My name would be there in a thread with thousands of people just talking literally about me. I think where that was on the cusp of Twitter becoming more popular. I do think now people being keyboard warriors and having an opinion in real time does amplify the pressure that is on the current Miss America for sure.

Photo by: Lavern Gibson

What kind of impact do you think the docuseries will have?

For those of us who participated in this documentary, our goal was not to tear down and dismantle the Miss America organization. Our main goal was to shed light on certain issues rarely talked about, or if they are, put away and packed very nicely. Our hope is now that these revelations have been unearthed, it will force us as an organization to take a look at ourselves from the top down and start to put in changes necessary to make this organization inclusive, forward-thinking, and something relevant for the next 100 years.

One recent milestone in the Miss America world has been 19-year-old Brían Nguyen emerging as the first transgender woman to win the Miss Greater Derry title. What are your thoughts on this?

My platform was HIV/Aids, so I have been heavily involved in the LGBTQ+ community my entire reign and post-that. I have friends who are in the process of transitioning, and I’m proud of them. This organization exists for one purpose and that is to amplify the voices and social causes of women. Anybody in my opinion who identifies themselves as a woman transitioned, if they have what it takes to win the crown, then by all means they should be eligible to compete.

Secrets of Miss America, Mondays, 10/9c, A&E