Jimmy Kimmel Lists His Top 78 Nicknames for Donald Trump (VIDEO)

Jimmy Kimmel marked Donald Trump’s 78th birthday in fittingly unceremonious fashion, listing his favorite 78 nicknames for the businessman-turned-politician — who’s running for president again while awaiting sentencing after his conviction on 34 felony counts.

“Trump had a low-key birthday celebration — he reportedly spent the night at home, quietly spanking himself with a magazine,” Kimmel said on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Friday, June 14, riffing on Stormy Daniels’ testimony that she used a magazine to spank Trump.

Then Kimmel got to the nicknames. “You know, I have to admit, Donald Trump has given a lot to our show, and I wanted to do something special for him because I know he watches from time to time,” the late-night comedian said.

“Over the last, seems like, I don’t know, 28 years since he got into politics, we’ve come up with a lot of nicknames for Donald Trump. And so in honor of his birther-day, we combed through the archives to bring you our top 78 Donald Trump nicknames of all-time.”

To the tune of “Hail to the Chief,” Kimmel rattled off the monikers, quoted in full below:

1. Don Whoreleone
2. Napoleon Bone-Aspur
3. R. Smelly
4. Fiberace
5. Commander-In-Thief
6. Nostra-dumbass
7. El Pork-Choppo
8. MAGA Theresa
9. All Caps-tain Kangaroo
10. Rip One Van Winkle
11. Count Flatula
12. Founding Farter
13. Farty-Five
14. Teddy Dozevelt
15. Gaseous Clay
16. Dopey McGropey
17. Lepre-con man
18. Al Ca-porn
19. Julius Squeezer
20. The Shart of the Deal
21. His Flatulency
22. Mayor McCutTheCheese
23. Groper Cleveland
24. Sleepy Don-zales
25. Nelson Tandela
26. Burger Jean King
27. Donny Nappleseed
28. Liger Woods
29. Unhappy Gilmore
30. Greedy McGolfy
31. Yabba Dabba Doofus
32. His MAGA-sty
33. Genghis Don
34. Donnie D Cups
35. Donye West
36. Donald Duck the Draft
37. Kim Don Un
38. The Notorious P.I.G.
39. Hair Mussolini
40. Con-Mander-In-Chief
41. Phony Soprano
42. Fattyshack
43. The Ayatollah Complaini
44. Presidementia
45. Stable McGenius
46. The Tanchurian candidate
47. Orange Baby Jesus
48. Refrigerator Perry Mason
49. Off-Whitey Bulger
50. Tannibal Lecter
51. The Not-So-Great Pumpkin
52. Carrot Bottom
53. Scammy Davis Jr.
54. Rich Little Hands
55. Donnie Cochran
56. The MAGA-lorian
57. Vladimir Gluten
58. HippoPOTUS
59. Darth Tax Evader
60. Our Fondling Father
61. Maroon 45
62. The Legend of Bragger Vance
63. Mar-a-Cloggo
64. The Tan of La Mancha
65. Butch Casserole
66. Trumpelstiltskin
67. MAGATHA Christie
68. Grab-Ass Grandpa
69. Orange Julius Caesar
70. Hungry Hungry Hypocrite
71. Dictator Tot
72. Quid Pro Combover
73. The Lock-Her-Up-ness Monster
74. General Lie-senhower
75. Alexander Scamilton
76. Yelvis
77. Jabba The Pizza Hut
78. Pumpkin McPornhumper

“Happy birthday, Mr. Former President! Happy birthday to you!” Kimmel added as he caught his breath and the in-studio audience cheered. “Maybe we do have Trump Derangement Syndrome.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Weeknights, 11:35/10:35c, ABC