‘9-1-1: Lone Star’ Aftershow: Brian Michael Smith on Paul as Lieutenant, That Nightmare, and More (VIDEO)

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for 9-1-1: Lone Star Season 5 Episode 4 “My Way.”]

Lieutenant Paul Strickland has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? He’s settling into the role nicely by the end of the latest 9-1-1: Lone Star episode, after initially trying to take on too much himself, including chores that no one likes to do around the house.

“When you’re in the trenches with someone, you really form a bond and then it can be a challenge to go from, ‘Hey, we’re all on the same level’ to ‘Hey, I need you to do things that I ask you to do and now I have this authority and how am I going to use that power?'” Brian Michael Smith explains to TV Insider in our 9-1-1: Lone Star aftershow, First Response, which is available to watch in full above.

Paul pushed himself to the point that he hurt his back and Owen (Rob Lowe) eventually had to step in to talk to him about the burden of leadership. It all stemmed from his childhood, as we got a glimpse of during a nightmare in which he showed up for a 126 hang only to find they’d given up his spot—to two kids. Those kids were Paul’s childhood best friends who did everything together until they excluded him because he’s trans.

Brian Michael Smith as Paul Strickland — '9-1-1: Lone Star' Season 5 Episode 4 "My Way"

Kevin Estrada/FOX

But after his conversation with Owen, Paul stepped up and gave out assignments—and then experienced firsthand how much things will not be changing with his friends because Marjan (Natacha Karam) checks on his weekend plans.

“As soon as he kind of started to feel like, oh no, I might lose my friends, it took him way back to this deep old wound that he realized, ‘I’m still operating from this place of pain.’ And so he was really, really concerned and really scared about losing his friends because this is now his family,” says Smith. “This is the unconditional support that he’s always wanted in life, and putting this on the line is something that’s terrifying for him and he’s willing to do everything. He’s willing to sacrifice himself in so many ways to keep holding onto this. So then when he stands into his power and takes on the leadership position and his friends are like, okay, and you’re still down, that’s what he needed to continue to let go of this old belief. It’s really beautiful to see onscreen.”

Smith praises the writers’ room for this episode because it was, “‘We’re going to throw everything at him again to push him to his breaking point and help him find what his breaking point is,'” he says. I feel like Paul would’ve continued taking on the load as an individual because he felt like he has to to keep what’s important to him in this job until his body gave out. And I feel like as a trans man, I think that kind of translates to his own experience feeling like I have to do it all by myself because this is the only way I can sort of reach my goals. People aren’t going to really support me or step up for me in the way that I would step up for them. And so he realized that’s not true anymore. You have found family. You have people who believe in you and who believe in your vision and your leadership, and they’re not going to abandon you because you do something that they don’t like.”

And so now moving forward, we’ll see “more of a fully-embodied Paul.”

His relationship with Asha [Amanda Payton] is still going strong. “Having someone at home to sort of ground him in what he’s going through is important. So you just see more of how her presence and support is keeping him bolstered and grounded,” Smith previews.

Plus, after seeing Paul put to the test as an individual, look for the 126 as a unit to “get pushed to the extremes in the next few episodes. It’s a doozy,” he promises.

Watch the full video interview above for more from Smith about Paul as lieutenant and what’s coming up there, saying goodbye to the show, and how it ends.

9-1-1: Lone Star, Mondays, 8/7c, Fox