Stephen Colbert Roasts Elon Musk in Fiery ‘Late Show’ Monologue

Stephen Colbert took aim at Elon Musk during his opening monologue on Thursday’s (March 6) The Late Show, quipping, “Millions of young people can’t stand him… and those are just his kids.”

The late-night host brought up Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) and its recent federal firings, referring to the tech billionaire’s crew as the “Geekstapo.” After the audience booed Musk’s name, Colbert responded, “That’s the sound of Tesla sales plummeting.”

Colbert stated that Musk has been firing people so randomly that the government is now “trying to hire a bunch of them back.” He pointed to the CDC recently emailing 180 fired employees to ask them to return to work under their previous schedules.

In the email, the CDC apologized for the “disruption,” to which Colbert said, “No! Disruption is when your cable goes out during a storm. This is your cable guy burning your house to the ground between the hours of noon and 6 pm on Thursday.”

He then noted how Veterans Affairs is also facing mass layoffs despite a recent expansion under Biden’s administration, leading to its highest-ever service levels and trust in the agency reaching an all-time high.

“But you know the DOGE motto,” Colbert stated. “If it ain’t broke, let me try!”

Colbert continued, “Turns out randomly firing a lot of Americans isn’t that popular with a lot of Americans. One new poll found that 58% oppose laying off large numbers of government workers. And a different poll of 18 to 34 year olds found that 71% disapprove of DOGE. Yes, millions of young people cannot stand Elon Musk, and those are just his kids.”

The comedian said, “People are so mad that they’re attending local town halls, where they’ve been letting elected Republicans have an earful.”

Because of this, the GOP Congressional Committee has advised House Republicans to stop holding town hall meetings. “If they refuse to hear from voters in person, I’ll just send them a letter,” Colbert replied before opening an envelope and shouting “Booo!” into it.

Related

Colbert Has No Sympathy for Trump Voters With 'Buyer’s Remorse'

Turning his attention to the X CEO’s visit to Capitol Hill, Colbert said, “The Republicans who met with Musk kissed his butt so hard, poetry came out, literally because Congressman Randy Weber of Texas, and this is real, read a poem praising Musk.”

He then read the poem, “Elon works from dawn to dusk, then it dawns on all of us. He’s figured out what’s crazy wrong. We should have known it all along.”

Responding to the poem, Colbert joked, “First off, dude, you used the word ‘dusk’ and didn’t think to rhyme it with ‘Musk’?” He then grabbed a book and said, “We finished the poem ourselves.”

Colbert read, “With 14 kids, the head of DOGE, has clearly never worn a Troj. His claim to fame’s high-tech machines, his only friends are fascist teens. With skin the tone of day-old sushi, he’s super dumb and uber-douchey. While Trump sits drinking diet cola, DOGE cuts could give us all Ebola. Like Iron Man without a heart, less Tony Stark, more Tony Shart.”

You can watch Colbert’s full opening monologue in the video above and let us know your thoughts below.

From TV Guide Magazine

Crime, Comedy & Convenience Stores: Unwrapping Hulu's 'Deli Boys' With the Cast

Cupcakes, corndogs…and cocaine?! Two brothers find themselves in a hilarious pickle when they inherit an unseemly bodega biz in Hulu’s new comedy Deli Boys. Find out how The Sopranos and Real Housewives of Orange County influenced the cast. Read the story now on TV Insider.