James Van Der Beek Came ‘Nose to Nose With Death’ During Cancer Treatment, He Says

Dan Clarendon March 16, 2025, 1:08 pm

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James Van Der Beek is opening up about the emotional and physical ravages of his cancer battle, saying he had an epiphany after coming “nose to nose” with death.

The Dawson’s Creek alum revealed in November 2024 that he’d been diagnosed with colorectal cancer and had been privately seeking treatment with the support of his family, which includes wife Kimberly and their six children.

And in a recent Instagram video, Van Der Beek said he had to reconsider his self-image amid his bout with cancer, after once defining himself as “a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, [and] steward of the land we’re so lucky to live on.”

He said: “This year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye. I had to come nose to nose with death. All of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband [who] was helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn’t working. I couldn’t even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you’re supposed to prune them.”

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A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames)

Furthermore, Van Der Beek said, he didn’t know who he was during his time as “just a too skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer.”

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Through meditation, however, the Varsity Blues actor understood the answer to his question of identity. “I am worthy of God’s love, simply because I exist,” he explained. “And if I’m worthy of God’s love, shouldn’t I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you. And as I move through this healing portal toward recovery, I wanted to share that with you because I think that revelation that came to me is due in no small part to all the prayers and the love that had been directed to me.”

And Van Der Beek — who promoted prostate, testicular and colorectal cancer awareness through the Fox special The Real Full Monty in December — told Instagram followers that if his revelation feels too religious, then “your mantra can simply be, ‘I am worthy of love,’ because you are.”