What You Could Buy for the Price of One Seinfeld Episode

Hulu just backed up a giant money truck for the exclusive streaming rights to Seinfeld, forking over a reported $700,000 per episode (or about $126 million for all 180). Here are some of the Seinfeld-related things you could buy for the cost of one episode.

140,000 Sponges: You would never in your life have to worry about whether someone was “sponge-worthy”: 140,000 sponges—the contraceptive kind, not the thing you use to clean dishes. ($15/3-pack)

350,000 Black-and-White Cookies: You could also divide them into one black and one white “cookie” each, for your finicky friends, bringing your total up to 700,000. ($2/cookie)

175,000 Boxes of Cereal: Doesn’t matter the brand—Lucky Charms, Special K—the Seinfelders’ snack of choice is kind of expensive these days. ($4/box)

14,000 Marble Ryes: In “The Rye,” Jerry offers an old lady $50 for the last marble rye sold at a bakery. This is an exorbitant mark-up, but hey, we’ve got Hulu Money to burn, so you could get an even 14,000 loaves for that price. At the more reasonable price of $5, that’d be 140,000. ($50/loaf)

254,545 Subway Rides: You could take the D all the way to Coney Island many thousands of times. ($2.75/single ride fare)

4 Centuries of Membership at the New York Health & Racquet Club: Pee in the shower all you like for at least 466 years, though you really shouldn’t—it’s terribly unsanitary. ($109-125/mo)

116,667 Bowls of Mulligatawny: From the inspiration for the Soup Nazi, you could keep yourself in gallons of delicious Indian soup. ($6/bowl)

28,000 Bros/Manssieres: For the chestally gifted man in your life, you could get a lifetime supply of Kramer’s patented “bro” (a “bra” is for ladies). ($25/bro)

12,727 Keith Hernandez Bobbleheads: The Brooklyn Cyclones minor league baseball team hosted a “Salute to Seinfeld Night” last July. The first 2,500 people to walk into the park got a free Keith Hernandez bobblehead, some of which naturally ended up being sold on eBay. You could buy many of them. (Average price: $55/bobblehead)

35,407 Rolls of Toilet Paper: You could spare 35,407,000 squares of Scott 1000 Bathroom Tissue. ($19.77 for a 27-pack at Walmart)