Game of Thrones: Good Week for the Undead, Bad Week for the Living

Even though this episode was called “Hardhome,” we didn’t actually see the Wildling village (or watch Jon Snow and Tormund Giantsbane attempt to rally the Wildlings to the cause of Not Getting Killed By White Walkers and Turning Into Wights) until halfway through; before that, we got two lovely, lengthy scenes of Tyrion and Dany together, and it just felt so right. We thought seeing Cersei locked up and dirty would also feel so right, but it was somehow not as satisfying as anticipated—her indomitable will is actually kind of impressive, even if it is horribly misguided and her current predicament is her own fault.

But “Hardhome” (the episode and the actual village, now) belonged to the White Walkers: In the most intense battle sequence since the Battle of the Blackwater (back in Season 2), Jon Snow, the few Night’s Watch men he brought, and the Wildlings had to fight off a massive army of wights while leading as many of their people to safety as possible. Luckily for Jon, Valyrian steel is as effective as dragonglass at killing White Walkers. Unluckily for Westeros, the enemy’s full might is now known, and it is terrifying.

Here are the others the gods smiled upon, and who had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

A Good Week For…

Arya Stark Lana

Her training to become a true servant of the Many-Faced God has begun in earnest! Jaquen H’Gar even gave her a mission—recon, at first, to spy on a crooked ship insurer; then, a strong hint that she gets to be the one to kill him. Mazel, and find a bit of hot sauce for those oysters.

The Night’s King

Grampa Darth Maul added a bunch of dead people to his army! How nice for him. Not so great for the entire rest of Westeros, though. It’s hard enough to defeat an army of the undead, but for every one of your live soldiers who gets killed, he gains a new one.

Unnamed Septa

She got to taunt Cersei for weeks! Spilling water for the Queen Mother on the ground, uttering only the command, “Confess.” Sure, if she’s a proper septa she won’t actually think of this task as a good thing, but that’s got to feel a little good.

A Bad Week For…

Ser Jorah Mormont

Banished again! Cheer up, Jorah, you brought Dany and Tyrion together, and it looks as though this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Or at least an eminently watchable one.

Cersei Lannister

She’s been reduced to licking water off the ground! One can’t argue she doesn’t deserve a little suffering, but when even a black soul like Qyburn is seemingly abandoning you, that’s rough.

The Lord of Bones

He got himself killed by a fellow Wildling! That’s what happens when you sass Tormund Giantsbane. And not only is he dead, he’s now a danger to his people as a member of the Night’s King’s army.