Best Lines on TV This Week: ‘Spaghetti and Musketballs…Eggs Benedict Arnold. For Shame, for Shame’

Sleepy Hollow

“Spaghetti and Musketballs, ‘Cannot Tell a Lie’ Cherry Pie, Eggs Benedict Arnold! For shame, for shame.”
— Ichabod (Tom Mison) reads the menu items at a colonial-themed restaurant called (what else?) “Colonial Times”

This is Ichabod’s personal hell. #SleepyHollow pic.twitter.com/WXoNJOv8e5

— Sleepy Hollow (@SleepyHollowFOX) October 2, 2015

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

“Wait, is this still cagey banter, or are we being honest all of a sudden?” — Coulson (Clark Gregg) can’t tell how transparent Rosalind (Constance Zimmer) is being

😱😱😱 @ConstanceZimmer #AgentsofSHIELD pic.twitter.com/7FXTXPxGVP — Agents of SHIELD (@AgentsofSHIELD) September 30, 2015

Fresh Off the Boat

“Why are Americans so obsessed with being friends with their children? I have no children friends.” — Jessica (Constance Wu) just doesn’t understand her friend’s parenting style

The Mindy Project

“This is a family building. So can you dial it down a couple of shades of grey?”
— Danny (Chris Messina) making a very surprising pop culture reference

“Our baby is a work of art. It’s like being at the Guggenheim all day.”
— Danny (Chris Messina) expressing how much he loves his son

The Last Man on Earth

“Jackie O-no you didn’t” — Carol reflects on the classic First Lady outfits

First Lady Carol. 😍 🇺🇸 #LastManOnEarth pic.twitter.com/QhABKJqTjp — Last Man On Earth (@LastManFOX) September 28, 2015

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

“In other words, Posh Spice is doing better than Old Spice.”
— Fallon comparing how Victoria and David Beckham are now richer than Queen Elizabeth

Faking It

“You going to be OK? Because if you die I want your room… And your blow dryer.”
— Lauren’s not-so-reassuring words to Amy post-puke

Doctor Who

“I hope you’re grateful. It wasn’t easy to procure, and very nearly unique of course. You should feel privileged: The only other chair on Skaro.”
— Davros (Julian Bleach) reveals that the tank-contained Daleks once had a need for a human chair.

Scream Queens

Zayday: “This is insane.”
Denise: “What’s insane are your tweets to the Executive Producer of the hit TV show How to Get Away With Murder. Exhibit B: Six months ago you tweeted at Shonda, ‘If Annalise Keating really wanted to get away with murder, she’d find a partner and work as a team. #Cahoots.’”
— Denise’s (Niecy Nash) definition of evidence is looser than most people’s

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wuntz: “Hello, Raymond. You’re looking old and sickly.”
Holt: “So nice of you to greet us, Madeline. I thought surely you’d still be crushed under that house in Munchkinland.”
Wuntz: “Sticks and stones, Raymond.”
Holt: “Describing your breakfast? I came out as a gay cop in the 1980s, so it’s gonna take more than reassigning me to break my spirit.”
— Archenemies Captain Holt (André Braugher) and Madeline Wuntz (Kyra Sedgwick) trade a war of words

From TV Guide Magazine

What to Expect From 'The Hunting Party's Love Triangle and Mystery

Manifest alum Melissa Roxburgh and the showrunner of NBC’s Hunting Party tease TV Guide Magazine about what’s ahead for the “government conspiracy that just keeps unfolding” — plus, the series’ “good” love triangle. Read the story now on TV Insider.