’90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days’ Premiere: All Aboard the Crazy Train (RECAP)

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days Season 4, Episode 1].

This week marks the return of the most addicting prequel series possibly ever on TV. We finally get to meet the much-buzzed about new couples of the season, plus glimpse into the comeback of TLC queen—and four-year Before the 90 Days cast member—Darcey Silva. This is going to be one hell of a ride.

Ed & Rosemarie

We meet 54 year-old Ed as he’s on set as a photographer. The San Diego native likes to be called “Big Ed” in good humor about his short stature, and totes his fluffy pup Teddy as his best friend. Ed was previously married but the relationship ended after his infidelity. He is close with daughter Tiffany, 29, calling her “the best thing that [he has] created on this earth,” and is said to have put off dating for over two decades while focusing on raising her.

However, he now has found love again with 23 year-old Rosemarie, who lives in the Philippines. The couple met on social media after Ed became transfixed with her “deep brown eyes,” and today they call each other “king” and “queen.”

“Rose is the woman of my dreams and I can’t wait anymore to meet her,” Ed says. “I know in my heart that she’s the one.”

Ed frequently sends packages to Rosemarie but she apparently has yet to receive any of them due to how remote her town is. The total for the amount of gifts he has sent: $5,000. Something seems a little suspicious here, but any excuse to see hunky UPS worker Ryan is fine by us.

“It must be love if he’s willing to ship all these gifts,” Ryan tells the camera. The real gift is you, dear Ryan. Keep doing what you’re doing with those packages.

Ed explains that his family is skeptical of his new relationship with Rosemarie but he is adamant that she is the true love of his life.

Avery & Ash

Seattle-based Avery, 32, is introduced while doing yoga along the beach. She works as a dental assistant but is passionate about being a healthy chef influencer, focusing on cannabis-infused recipes. Avery is a single mom to two young daughters, with a 10 year-old from her first marriage and a two-year old from a recent past relationship.

Avery connected with Ash, 38, on Instagram after he commented on one of her foodie snapshots. Ash works in Australia as a relationship coach, and the small snippet of footage from his coaching sessions is pricelessly reminiscent of the iconic Jesse Meester from Seasons 1 and 2.

“Connection equals potential. It’s going to start something, ignite something,” Ash muses on a video conference. “Stay in that flow of that feminine energy. Allow yourself to experience pleasure.”

We can’t wait to meet this guy.

Ash’s profession is a cause of concern for Avery as she’s worried about him exclusively coaching female clients. Could he be feeding Avery canned lines about romance and passion through their texts?

Avery vents to her ex Jared, who’s a “pretty big deal in the cannabis industry,” about Ash’s habits. “Can you get serious with someone that you’ve never met before?” Jared asks Avery, who explains that’s exactly why she’s flying to Australia in a week to see if they connect in person.

Fan theory: Ash is secretly pulling a rom-com stunt and is coaching Avery to realize her true love is Jared! Placing our bets now.

Geoffrey & Varya

Self-described country boy Geoffrey, 41, is currently raising his three children from two marriages. Shortly after his second divorce, Geoffrey lost his fourth child, a one year-old son. Today, Geoffrey hopes to open his heart again with Russian radio personality Varya, 30.

“What I’m feeling is true and not just trying to make up for what I’ve lost,” Geoffrey tells his two eldest sons, who protectively warn him to be cautious with this new romance.

Geoffrey’s boys aren’t the only ones worried about him. Geoffrey’s work friend, who also happens to be Russian, thinks that Varya just wants “a way out of the country.”

Lisa & Usman

Pennsylvania native Lisa, 52, is shown getting a full body wax before traveling to Nigeria to meet 30 year-old Usman, whom she’s been talking to online for the last two years. Lisa has a 15 year-old daughter with her ex-husband, and met Usman on Facebook.

“It was exciting because I’ve never spoken to anyone so young,” Lisa jokes. “But Usman was flirtatious from the beginning. I was kind of shocked when he said ‘I love you.'”

The couple also frequently share nude videochats to bridge their long-distance gap.

Usman, who goes by SojaBoy, is a famous musician in Nigeria with over 23k followers on Instagram. SojaBoy wrote a love song for Lisa, which she plays “several times during the day.” Yet Lisa is jealous over the “thirsty women” and fans who comment on Usman’s pages.

Yolanda & William

51 year-old Yolanda has embraced her new 150-pound weight loss that empowered her to date again after the death of her three decades-long love. Yolanda has six children between the ages of 17 and 29, and the family lives together in Las Vegas. Yolanda hasn’t told most of her kids yet about her beau Williams, 40, from Manchester, England, and thus far she’s also been keeping her age a secret from Williams.

Yolanda’s eldest daughter Karra is the only one she’s confided in about the relationship. Yolanda has actually never seen Williams via FaceTime or through video, so Karra is rightfully skeptical over the whole situation. “I feel like my mom is being very naive right now and that scares me, so I’m coming to England with her to have her back,” Karra says.

Morally Bankrupt Already

Avery meets up with her friends for drinks and continues to discuss her trust issues with Ash. Yet now we finally get some concrete examples: Ash has deleted all his Instagram photos of Avery, he hasn’t changed his Facebook relationship status, and he can’t get a visa to come to the U.S. because of a past bankruptcy. Ash blamed hackers and a previous business partner for all of the issues.

“I am still bothered about the fact that Ash felt like he had to lie to me about it,” Avery says in a confessional. “I chose to believe him but it’s been a little hard to gain that trust back.”

A Song For the Ages

Lisa meets up with a friend at a bakery and makes a politically incorrect joke about Oreo cookies, telling her friend maybe she needs to meet a Nigerian man too.

Usman proposed to Lisa over videochat and they currently plan to wed in Nigeria, hence her trip there. Her friend voices her concerns about going into this so blindly, and Lisa assures her that she has a plan to ensure their intimacy. Apparently Usman told Lisa that he has never had sex without a condom, and Lisa hopes to “take his virginity” of unprotected sex once she sees him in person.

Lisa also cannot contain herself from referencing Usman aka SojaBoy’s song, and she points to the lyrics as literal proclamations of their love. “That song is as real as it gets,” Lisa convinces herself, as her friend argues that Usman is most likely wanting to come to America to advance his music career.

A Game of Telephone

Yolanda calls Williams and blushes over his British accent. Um, maybe the speakerphone audio was bad but we’re not hearing a British accent at all. Then it comes out that Williams originally asked Yolanda for money to buy a ticket to visit her in the U.S.

Yolanda smartly turned it back on him, and said she’d prefer to see how he lives in the U.K. What else are you hiding, Williams?

Eventually Yolanda tells her kids the real reason for her trip to England, and they all seem appalled by her hypocrisy over meeting someone on Instagram. “Well he slid in my DM,” Yolanda responds.

Yolanda says she’s in love with Williams and has felt alone since their father died while serving a prison term. “My mom is still grieving my dad’s death,” one of her daughters says. “I am concerned this guy is catfishing her.”

Yolanda begs her children to remain openminded. “I just really believe that I deserve to find love again,” Yolanda confesses. “I’ve invested seven months in this relationship and I’m ready to take the trip. I’m just praying that my children understand.”

Dying to Meet

Ed has been dying his hair to appear younger for Rosemarie, but the dye irritates his sensitive skin so he adds mayonnaise to the mix. Post-dye session, Ed videochats with Rosemarie and we learn that she has a four year-old son named Prince, which makes sense for the king and queen pet names. Prince calls Ed his “daddy” which Ed agrees is premature to do, but they’re obviously excited to meet him in person.

We also discover that Ed originally lied about his height, telling Rosemarie that they’re the same height at 5’2″, but in reality, he is 4’11.” Three inches aren’t that big of a deal, but he is still nervous about what she’ll think when he arrives. The videochat connection freezes after Ed asks about Rosemarie’s ex-boyfriend, and that prompts Ed to tell the camera that he plans to request Rosemarie take a STD test, á la Paul from Season 1.

From Russia, With Love

Geoffrey calls Varya and the two share compliments before Geoffrey heads off to meet friends at a restaurant. Geoffrey tells them about Varya and his plans to travel to Russia, and his female friend scolds him for not seriously considering herself as a love interest.

“I just don’t understand, why the such drastic change of countries? You are a good-looking guy. You can have anyone you want….Why am I not good enough?” Geoffrey’s friend Mary bluntly says. “I think he’s a little blind.”

Geoffrey reveals that he hasn’t shared his full past with Varya and “absolutely hates” talking about it. What could he possibly be referencing? His Dave Grohl lookalike flashback photos imply maybe a hard-partying past, but why would he be so nervous to share that?

Previews

We see the rest of the couples, plus Geoffrey and Varya skinny-dipping between arguments. Usman is scared his family won’t accept Lisa since she’s white, and Williams seems to stand up Yolanda in England.

And finally, finally, finally we see fan favorite Darcey trying on a supposed wedding dress.

Until next week, 90 Day fans! This season is going to be good—potentially even groundbreakingly great—so strap in.

90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, Sundays, 8/7c, TLC