The 10 Greatest ‘Real Housewives’ Taglines of All Time
10. “I’m an enigma wrapped in a riddle and cash.” – Erika Girardi, Beverly Hills Season 6
We begin with the sentence that introduced us to not one, but two people: Erika Girardi and her sex-fueled alter ego, Erika Jayne. It’s the inherent mystery of that split personality that makes this one so great, but we also have to give it up for the gauche flaunting of wealth, a key tenant of the franchise. Plus, Erika gets bonus points for using a word (“enigma”) that half of her cast probably had to Google.
9. “I’m back to bring the zen. Namaste, bitches!” – Dina Manzo, New Jersey Season 6
After three seasons away, Dina marked her return to the show with a bang. What starts out as a run-of-the-mill, “no drama” tagline quickly morphs into an instant classic thanks to that salty twist. Yoga’s never sounded so fun.
8. “The word on the street is that I’m the word on the street.” – Gizelle Bryant, Potomac Season 1
Gizelle came out guns blazing in the first season of Potomac, fighting hard to establish herself as the NeNe/Bethenny/Vicki/Vanderpump of the new franchise. Despite Karen Huger’s self-bestowed “grande dame” title, Gizelle succeeded, and it’s thanks in part to this tagline that told us exactly what we were getting.
7. “My husband’s a top plastic surgeon in this town, and I am his best creation.” – Lisa Hochstein, Miami Season 2
The Miami franchise sadly is no longer with us (R.I.P.), but we’ll never forget this balls-y intro. The gender politics of it are uncomfortable at best, but when a Housewife owns her plastic surgery so fully, we can’t help but smile (even if we’ve got so much Botox, you can’t tell.)
6. “I won Miss USA, not Miss Congeniality.” – Kenya Moore, Atlanta Season 5
Kenya arrived on the fifth season of RHOA knowing exactly what she was bringing to the table, and boy, did she deliver. This red flag warning—that she’s about winning, not making friends—proved truly prophetic. What really sets it apart though, is that it’s based in history and fact, making it uniquely Kenya’s.
5. “Only God can judge me, and he seems quite impressed.” – Phaedra Parks, Atlanta Season 8
Phaedra’s delivered several great taglines, but she didn’t peak until this late-run edition. It’s equal parts sweet Southern belle and uber conceited megalomaniac, a dichotomy this devious lawyer pulls of well.
4. “Money is a girl’s best friend, and I love friends.” – Jeana Keough, Orange County Season 5
An excellent turn of phrase always gets top marks in the tagline arena, and boy, is this one a winner. Jeana shirks Marilyn Monroe’s metaphoric diamonds for cold hard cash, and then takes it one step further. She doesn’t just enjoy money’s company, she craves it. This excess is what the series was originally all about, and to see it embraced with such glee is truly mesmerizing.
3. “If you’re going to talk about me behind my back, at least check out my great ass.” –Carole Radziwill, NYC Season 6
Carole is, of course, a writer (never forget #Bookgate), so it makes sense that she’d have a hand in crafting such a beloved bait-and-switch. The carefree spirit of the joke accurately represents Carole’s approach to life, but it doesn’t hit the top of this list simply because it doesn’t really feel like it encapsulates who Carole is. You could see any number of Housewives using this, and though we give Carole props for being the one to do so, it was probably better suited elsewhere.
2. “God is my savior, my husband is my king, and my body? It’s sinful.” –Alexis Bellino, Orange County Season 6
Wow. What even needs to be said about this one? Alexis essentially ripped opened her shirt and screamed, “HERE I AM, WORLD!” It’s trashy, it’s tacky, it’s biblically confounding, and it is wonderful.
1. “I don’t keep up with the Joneses, I am the Joneses.” –NeNe Leakes, Atlanta Seasons 1 & 2
This is the holy grail of Real Housewives taglines. It is the level of perfection every Housewife hopes to achieve in the game of taglining. Instantly quotable, it told us exactly who NeNe was, far before we ever heard her “bloop.” She was the star of the show, and everyone else was just trying to keep pace.
In the opening credits of each franchise of The Real Housewives—from Orange County to New York City and everywhere in between—each Housewife is given one to two sentences to summarize who they are, their arc on the show, or their attitude. These mantras have become known as “taglines” in the Bravo world, with fans coming up with their own—and asking just about every celebrity who visits Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live to do the same.
But not all taglines are equal. No, many of these lines have relied upon clichés, bad puns and worst of all, earnestness. Luckily, these 10 ladies have shown the rest of the pack how it’s done. Above are the 10 greatest Real Housewives taglines… so far!
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