Best Lines on TV This Week (June 9-15): ‘Well, All I Can See out There Is a Little Dingy’
Orange Is The New Black
Janae: “Two zip codes from here they got laptops and art galleries. They got so much culture, they ain’t even knowin’ they stealin’ ours. It’s a load of shit.”
Miss Fowler: “You’re right. I wish you weren’t, but it’s true. The Thurston students are privileged and advantaged, and sometimes you feel like you have to work twice as hard to get half as far, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Okay? You belong with the brightest.”
Janae: “But why even bother playin’ a game that’s rigged? Courtney’s going to a science camp this summer that cost more than my dad makes in three months. How could I ever compete? I’ll see ya, Miss Fowler.”
-In a flashback, young Janae Watson (Journee Brown), one of the current Litchfield inmates, is frustrated by the lack of funds that are plaguing her high school.
American Ninja Warrior
“I don’t feel like I’m 30 anymore, but I feel real good for 70.”
-Rich Talavera, one of the contestants at the Kansas City qualifiers, doing a handstand on a skateboard.
The Carmichael Show
“Put on American Ninja Warrior. I want to watch that as the angels whisk me away.”
-Francis Carmichael (Marla Gibbs), on her deathbed, to her grandson Jerrod Carmichael (as himself).
Celebrity Family Feud
Bindi Irwin: “I am tip-top terrific and so happy to be here. And I have to tell you, Dad always spoke about you so much. He would always tell us kids about how much he loved you and loved being on your show because he told us that you actually made him an honorary black man and that made him so happy! He was so happy!”
Steve Harvey: “Yeah. I did. I did. That’s true. That’s true. That’s true. That’s very true. No, that’s very true.”
Bindi Irwin: “That made his life. That was like one of the pinnacle moments in his life and we were so proud!”
-Bindi describing a fond memory her late father, famed “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin, had with the Celebrity Family Feud host.
Bob’s Burgers
“I think I maybe don’t understand ‘Pew! Pew!’ Sometimes it’s angry. Sometimes it’s friendly. Is ‘Pew! Pew!’ like aloha?”
-Gene (Eugene Mirman) tries to understand his mom (John Roberts) and aunt’s (Megan Mullally) unusual lingo.
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
“Well, all I can see out there is a little dingy.”
-Colin Mochrie acting as a Navy seaman using Wayne Brady’s “little dingy” as a periscope.
The Tony Awards
Ben Platt: To all young people watching at home, don’t waste any time trying to be like anybody but yourself because the things that make you strange are the things that make you powerful.”
-Ben Platt accepting his award for best leading actor in a musical.
Idiotsitter
Billie: “Tip the humidifier to 90 degrees. Add another eight degrees and you’ll have my favorite boyband.”
-Billie (Charlotte Newhouse) tries to find humor in reading dull instructions from a manual.
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