Best Lines of the Week (September 28-October 5): ‘I Found God. He’s in Jersey.’
God Friended Me (CBS)
Rakesh: “Miles, I did it. I found God. He’s in Jersey.”
— Miles (Brandon Micheal Hall) gets an unusual message from his friend Rakesh (Suraj Sharma).
Modern Family (ABC)
Phil Dunphy: “How do you get a mean girl to stop being a mean girl? Be mean girlier.”
— Phil (Ty Burrell) after watching the movie Mean Girls and realizing he has a ‘mean girl’ in his life.
Bob’s Burgers (Fox)
Tina Belcher: “I’m not boy-crazy. I’m boy-focused.”
— During the show’s 150th episode, Tina (voice of Dan Mintz) takes her teenage antics to the next level.
Kidding (Showtime)
Jeff: “Hate doesn’t punish who you think it does.”
— Jeff Pickles (Jim Carrey) when his son Will (Cole Allen) asks whether he hates the man who killed his other son in a car wreck.
This Is Us (NBC)
William: “We have each other. We have this place. That’s not nothing. That’s not nothing at all.”
— William (Ron Cephas Jones) taking a trip down memory lane on his 5th year sober anniversary.
Maniac (Netflix)
Oliver Hightower: “My mind is playing tricks.”
— Ollie (Jonah Hill) spots a lavishly-dressed Arlie Kane (Emma Stone) on a dark path as he pulls up to the Full Moon Seance.
The Good Doctor (ABC)
Dr. Shaun Murphy: “Excellent. I’ve been practicing lying. I lied to you before when I said I just wanted to get out of my apartment and to work.”
— Dr. Murphy (Freddie Highmore) when Dr. Melendez (Nicholas Gonzalez) tells him to lie to a patient.
Happy Together (CBS)
Donna: “I was making smoothies for us this morning, and I realized I didn’t have enough vodka so I ran out to the store to get another case and I see this — my daughter cheating on her husband with the singer of my favorite workout music.”
— Donna (Stephnie Weir) to Claire (Amber Stevens West) and Jake (Damon Wayans Jr.) when the tabloids think Claire is having an affair with teen pop star Cooper James (Felix Mallard).
American Horror Story: Apocalypse (FX)
Myrtle Snow: “The world is almost as bad as his dinner jacket, but at least the world can be saved.”
— Myrtle (Frances Conroy) takes a dig at Michael Langdon (Cody Fern).
The Gifted (Fox)
Caitlin: “Don’t you dare give into despair. It will eat you alive.”
— Caitlin (Amy Acker) respondes when Marcos (Sean Teale) mentions the potential of a war starting.
From the series premiere of CBS’s Happy Together to Jim Carrey’s new hit series Kidding on Showtime, here are the can’t-miss lines from this week on TV.
Watchlist Easy access to only the shows you care about — all in one simple place
Alerts Only important notifications — when a show is returning, when it becomes available to stream, and more.
Special Offers Exclusive products we release related to your favorite shows and streaming services