Best Lines of the Week (April 28-May 4): ‘If I Cringe Any Harder, I Might Become a Fossil’
NSYNC should’ve sang, “It’s gonna be May… and there’s going to be a lot of chaos.”
There have been a few changes on late-night talk shows in the past week. James Corden hosted his final episode of The Late Late Show with James Corden, complete with guests Harry Styles and Will Ferrell and a sketch involving other famous faces of late-night talk shows. Maybe Corden leaving was a blessing in disguise. As of Tuesday, May 2, The Writers Guild of America (WGA) officially went on strike. Despite feeling the blow and as shows went dark, Seth Meyers gave the Guild his support.
There were also a few instances of the wrong thing being said this week on TV, such as when judge Luke Bryan on American Idol informed the audience that he would not be “tying up” fellow judge Katy Perry (in a competition). But there were also a few instances where the perfect thing was said, including when Jeff Probst told the castaways on Survivor that they need to go “full tilt boogie” throughout the whole game if they want to win.
We’re left with a lot to think about in terms of TV as May begins. Keep reading for our other favorite lines of the week!
Late Night with Seth Meyers (NBC)
“I love writing. I love writing for TV. I love writing this show. I love that we get to come in with an idea for what we want to do every day and we get to work on it all afternoon, and then I have the pleasure of coming out here and saying those words to you. No one — look, no one is entitled to a job in show business, but for those people who have a job in show business, they are entitled to fair compensation. They are entitled to make a living. I think it’s a very reasonable demand that is being set out by the Guild, and I support those demands.”
— Seth Meyers announces his support for the Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike.
American Idol (ABC)
“I’m just thinking about how my meeting with HR right after the show is gonna go. I enjoyed this run on American Idol, everybody. Thank you. Orlando… yeah and I’ll be scared of you too.”
– After accidentally saying he wouldn’t be tying up co-judge Katy Perry live, Luke Bryan jokes about the repercussions.
The Good Doctor (ABC)
“Hello. It is very nice to meet you. I am Dr. Shaun Murphy. I’m your dad.”
– Shaun (Freddie Highmore) and Lea’s (Paige Spara) baby boy is born.
Survivor (CBS)
“That’s the only way to play Survivor, is full tilt boogie every single second of every single day.”
– Jeff Probst tells the castaways at tribal council that in order to be great at this game, you have to give it your all the entire time.
Bob’s Burgers (FOX)
Bob: “At this point, there is no doubt in Alice’s mind that Mr. Miller is the German spy she heard over the radio.”
Louise: “And he knows that she knows?”
Bob: “Well, she’s not sure if he knows she knows.”
Tina: “She knows what she knows, but she doesn’t know what he knows she knows.”
Bob: “Uh, yeah. Right.”
Gene: “And she definitely shouldn’t let her mom date him. Swipe left, Gertie.”
– Bob (voiced by H. Jon Benjamin) tells the story of his grandmother uncovering a German spy.
Love and Death (HBO Max)
“Would you be interested in having an affair?”
– Although they are both married, Candy Montgomery (Elizabeth Olsen) asks her friend’s husband, Allan Gore (Jesse Plemons), if he would like to have an affair with her.
Succession (HBO)
“If I cringe any harder, I might become a fossil.”
— Roman (Kieran Culkin) watches Kendall’s (Jeremy Strong) cheesy and unbalanced product launch to investors.
The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS)
Stephen Colbert: “James, have you thought this through? What other job will allow you to break into song and dance every single night?”
James Corden: “I don’t sing and dance every night.”
Jimmy Kimmel: “You do.”
Seth Meyers: “It’s been a lot.”
Stephen Colbert: “Like, a lot.”
James Corden: “That’s – no. I did nearly two years without singing and dancing once.”
Jimmy Kimmel: “Yeah, but that was during COVID. And then as soon as COVID was over, you did a huge musical number with Ariana Grande about how COVID was over.”
– In James Corden’s final episode, other late night hosts prepare him for what life will be like after he leaves the show.
Not Dead Yet (ABC)
Nell: “I thought you liked me better when I’m with him. Hm? No shoes on the floor or Cheeto dust on the walls or whatever.”
Edward: “No, I’m used to the Cheeto dust. It’s how I know you’re home.”
– Edward (Rick Glassman) tries to talk to Nell (Gina Rodriguez) about her relationship with her boyfriend.
The Company You Keep (ABC)
Charlie: “I get caught, they kill me. You understand that, right?”
Emma: “So don’t get caught.”
Charlie: “You make it sound so easy.”
Emma: “You make it look easy.”
— The fire between Charlie (Milo Ventimiglia) and Emma (Catherine Haena Kim) fizzles as Emma asks Charlie to work undercover for the government and put himself in harm’s way to build a case against a powerful crime family that threatens his.
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