10 Best ‘Ted Lasso’ Quotes to Hold You Over Until Season 3
It’s official: Ted Lasso Season 3 returns to Apple TV+ on Wednesday, March 15.
That’s right, the wait for a premiere date is finally over and we have just under a month until the show that we have all grown to love is back. And hopefully in this new season, our burning questions will finally get answered. Will Nate (Nick Mohammed) come back from the dark side? Do Keely (Juno Temple) and Roy (Brett Goldstein) stick it out? And will Dr. Sharon Fieldstone (Sarah Niles) return to AFC Richmond? But no matter how this season plays out, at least we know that we’re in for some memorable lines from Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis).
With that in mind (and to help hold you over until the aforementioned questions get answered in Season 3), here are 10 of the best Ted Lasso quotes.
Ted Lasso, Season 3 Premiere, Wednesday, March 15, Apple TV+
"Biscuits" (Season 1, Episode 2)
“You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? It’s got a 10-second memory.”
— After Jamie Tartt (Phil Dunster) makes Sam Obisanya (Toheeb Jimoh) trip and fall while they are running drills, Ted pulls Sam to the side and tries to give him a few words of encouragement.
"Man City" (Season 2, Episode 8)
“I like my water like Kyrie Irving likes his Earth. Flat.”
— After getting into a bicycling accident, Sharon wants to leave the hospital alone, but hospital policy states that head trauma patient cannot be left unattended. So, Ted accompanies Sharon back to her apartment, where she offers him a glass of water.
"Pilot" (Season 1, Episode 1)
“You know, I always figured that tea was just gonna taste like hot brown water. And you know what? I was right. Yeah, it’s horrible. No, thank you.”
— Ted meets Rebecca Welton (Hannah Waddingham), the owner of AFC Richmond and his new boss, for the first time, and she offers him a cup of tea in her office.
"Diamond Dogs" (Season 1, Episode 8)
“Sounds to me like someone’s trapped inside life’s most complicated shape: a love triangle. Second place, of course, is the ‘I just walked in on my mother-in-law changing into her swimsuit,’ dodecahedron.”
— When Roy confides in Ted about his relationship with Keely and how he can’t stop thinking about her ex, Jamie, Ted explains the situation as he sees it.
"Lavender" (Season 2, Episode 2)
“I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t eat sugar. Only heard about ’em. And they all live in this Godless place called Santa Monica.”
— Trying to make a good first impression with the new sports psychologist, Sharon, Ted offers her his famous biscuits. She takes a bite, but ultimately turns the treat down, claiming that she doesn’t eat sugar.
"Pilot" (Season 1, Episode 1)
Rebecca: “Do you believe in ghosts, Ted?”
Ted: “I do. But more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves, you know?”
— While giving a tour of the AFC Richmond Club, Rebecca tells Ted that the stadium was used as a makeshift hospital during the war and that some locals claim to see the fallen soldiers wandering around.
"Do The Right-est Thing" (Season 2, Episode 3)
“I hope y’all drank a lot of water today, ’cause y’all are gonna be so dehydrated that you’re gonna look like one of them trees from a Tim Burton movie. I’m talking any Tim Burton movie. Even Dumbo.”
— After learning that the boys on the football team are hating on their teammate Jamie, Ted transforms into “Led Lasso” and harasses the group, in an attempt to make them hate him instead of Jamie.
"The Signal" (Season 2, Episode 6)
“Boy, I love meeting people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts.”
— Rebecca shouts down from her office to Ted, who is standing on the football field, and tells him that he has to go to lunch with her and her mother.
"Pilot" (Season 1, Episode 1)
“Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.”
— After being told by a passenger on the plane that he is a “legend for doing something so stupid,” Ted turns to his coworker and friend, Coach Beard (Brendan Hunt), and asks him if they are crazy for going to coach a football team in the UK.
"Diamond Dogs" (Season 1, Episode 8)
“Well, as my doctor told me when I got addicted to fettuccine Alfredo, that’s a little rich for my blood.”
— When Rebecca’s ex-husband, Rupert Mannion (Anthony Head), sees Ted playing darts poorly, he tries to bet 10,000 pounds on a game against him.
Watchlist Easy access to only the shows you care about — all in one simple place
Alerts Only important notifications — when a show is returning, when it becomes available to stream, and more.
Special Offers Exclusive products we release related to your favorite shows and streaming services