Best Lines of the Week (July 21-27): ‘You can’t rush fine wine. Or fine women.’
Summer’s peaking and TV is just as hot with new shows, new episodes and the return of a series after a decade-long break.
We rushed to our screens for the premiere of the 11th season of Futurama after 10 years of waiting to see Fry (Billy West) and the crew experience life in the future. With new hellos also come sad goodbyes. Freeform‘s Grown-ish is gearing up to end its series with a two-part season. The second half will be aired in the fall of this year, and we don’t know if we are ready yet to say farewell to Junior (Marcus Scribner) and Zoey (Yara Shahidi). There have been powerhouse episodes of Prime Video‘s The Summer I Turned Pretty and Freeform‘s Cruel Summer that keep us wanting more with all the drama. There were no shortage of laughs this week. Jim Gaffigan premiered his 10th comedy special and we watched the Gemstone clan attempt to escape a kidnapping which was nothing short of hilarious.
With shows this good, there were plenty of note-worthy lines. Read below to see some of our top picks!
The Summer I Turned Pretty (Prime Video)
“The past doesn’t determine your fate. It’s the choices that you make today.”
– Taylor (Rain Spencer) tells Belly (Lola Tung) as she tried to encourage her to give volleyball a second chance
Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale (Prime Video)
“Funerals are weird. Open casket, closed casket. I want to be sitting up in my casket. You know, just sitting there. Eyes open. I’d like to be positioned near the doorway, so when people enter the room, they’re like, “What the hell?” I’d rig it so occasionally my hand would go up. I’d definitely want there to be crumbs on my chest. “Did he eat recently?” I’d pre-record an announcement: “Thanks for coming to my funeral. Don’t be sad. I’m in a better place. Just kidding. I’m right here.” And then I don’t know if this is in poor taste, but at that moment, I’d like my body to burst into flames. I want to be cremated, but at my funeral. You know, something for everyone, a little surf and turf.”
– Jim Gaffigan hilariously explains what his funeral could be like
The Bachelorette (ABC)
Captain Tom: “Y’all with the same girl right here?”
Sean: “Yeah.”
Captain Tom: “I don’t know how that’s gonna work.”
Tanner: “We don’t either.”
Captain Tom: “One at a time, for sure.”
– On their swamp tour in New Orleans, the captain jokes about their obvious awkward dynamic
Futurama (Hulu)
Leela: “Can’t you just ad lib?”
Calculon: “Asking an actor to ad lib is like asking a… guy to… five.”
– Leela (Katey Sagal) tries to search for a solution to continue the 24/7 production of a TV after all fo the writers died due to exhaustion to which Calculon (Maurice LaMarche) proves that writers are truly needed
grown-ish (Freeform)
Sloane: “Ooh, hold on, now. You can’t rush fine wine. Or fine women.”
Doug: “Oh, so you think you’re fine?”
Sloane: “It’s been said on more than one occasion.”
– Sloane (Latto), the new wine rep for Bar None starts up a flirty conversation with Doug (Diggy Simmons)
Son of a Critch (The CW)
“My father worked at the radio station next door, but my mother was a radio station. She shot out gossip like a machine gun.”
– Mark (Benjamin Evan Ainsworth) makes a funny comment about his mother’s (Claire Rankin) love for gossiping
The Righteous Gemstones (HBO)
“Perhaps if, uh, dear sis were to sing a ditty right now, that would help to change their hearts and minds.”
– After being kidnapped by their cousins, Jesse (Danny McBride) tries to find a way for them to literally preach for their freedom
Cruel Summer (Freeform)
Luke: “If I do this, I’m pulling the ripcord and blowing up my life.”
Sergeant: “Sometimes that’s the only way to live your dream.”
– Luke (Griffin Gluck) tells Sheriff Myer (Sean Blakemore) about his dream of going to the Coast Guard Academy, even though his dad disapproves
Harley Quinn (Max)
Nora: How are you?
Ivy: You know, just reaching a career low, enabling overgrown goon babies to destroy the world.
Nora: You know, it’s customary to just say, “I’m good.”
– Ivy (Lake Bell) complains to Nora (Rachel Dratch) about how her career is not going how she expected.
The Kardashians (Hulu)
“This has been a whirlwind of a year. Breakups and makeups, and now a death in the family, and it’s been overwhelming on certain days, but we made it through and all that really matters is my family and the love that we have for each other.”
– In the season finale, Kris Jenner reflects on the challenging year the family has endured
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