Best TV Lines (July 29-August 4): ‘Nothing Motivates More Than Withering Criticism’
Orphan Black
Felix: “My sister and I are orphans, you see, and we could’ve ended up anywhere. We could’ve ended up in any family… But my mom, Siobhan, this woman — she chose us as her own. We are who we are because she carried two little London urchins on her wings to Canada. Watching her raise my sister, watching my sister raise her own daughter, finding my biological sister, it’s quite mad. It’s taught me that we are all mysterious works of chance. Of choice. Of nature vs. nurture. So to my galaxy of women — thank you for the nurture.”
– Felix (Jordan Gavaris) gives a touching tribute to the women in his life.
Insecure
Molly: “Y’all f***ed?”
Issa: “Damn, why your voice got so much bass in it?”
Molly: “So, who initiated the sex?”
Issa: “Him, basically.”
Molly: “Have y’all spoken since?”
Issa: “Yeah. No. It’s unclear.”
Molly: “Bitch, are you Magic 8 Ball? What that mean?”
– Issa (Issa Rae) confesses that she hooked up with her ex-boyfriend to Molly (Yvonne Orji).
Teen Wolf
Coach: “What exactly are you doing?”
Scott: “Drills.”
Coach: “You’re giving them hope. When did I ever give you hope?”
Scott: “Never.”
Coach: “Exactly. Nothing motivates more than withering criticism.”
– After four years, Coach Finstock (Orny Adams) finally shares his coaching tactics with temporary assistant coach Scott (Tyler Posey).
Claws
Desna: “Those two Russian boys tried to kill him.”
Polly: “I’m pretty sure they run the 24-hour check cashing on Canal.”
Virginia: “Mm, the Liberian one.”
Polly: “Yes, Virginia, the Russian twins run the Liberian check cashing.”
– Virginia (Karrueche Tran) showing her geography knowledge while discussing current events with Desna (Niecy Nash) and Polly (Carrie Preston).
American Dad
Maniyak: “The king took Yakie Mason and Samuel L. Yakson.”
Stan: “Do you realize if we hadn’t partner-swapped, we wouldn’t be in this position.”
Maniyak: “He also took Yakie O., Bo-Yak Horseman…”
Stan: “Maybe instead of wanting Francine and Steve to be more like us…”
Maniyak: “…Gene Yakman, Hugh Yakman…they’re brothers.”
Hayley: “We should be more like them.”
Maniyak: “There was a group of them I called Nickelyak. I don’t miss them.”
– Former Thai general Maniyak (Don Thai Theerathada) lists the hilariously named yaks the king took from him.
American Grit
Carla: “I’ve been very blessed with a wonderful, loving family. We’re not the most functional, but I am a product of them. And I am a damn good product.”
– Contestant Carla Mireles, just after her elimination.
Love & Hip Hop Hollywood
Nikki: “So are you in a new relationship now or what?”
Jade: “Um, I’m like, seeing someone who is “technically” married.”
Jade: “No, not like– no no no. no, listen. I’m a paralegal so I’m actually divorcing him but he’s–”
Chanel: “This is too much.”
– Jade Watson tells the girls about her new relationship following the breakup with Rich Dollaz.
Rick and Morty
Why worry about our world when there are infinite universes? That’s right, the dark animated comedy made its way to another streaming service. Now you can watch Rick and Morty along with more of your favorite cartoons like Adventure Time, Looney Toons, and South Park.
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